Shadows  - Paula Weston Actual rating: 2.5 stars.

There once was a girl who did not want a NetGalley account because all her friends said bad things about it. Those mean friends were wrong, of course, NetGalley is wonderful and this girl has gotten many books from them! But the first book, the one the girl wanted the absolute mostest was Shadows.

Oh, she prayed and pleaded. This girl had pre-ordered Shadows in January, she was so excited for it! And beyond all hope, the email came! And the girl got the book she wanted most of all.

And she read it as soon as she could, excitedly showing her hubby her new book on her Kindle and going and locking herself in her bedroom to the displeasure of her hubby.

She unlocked the door at 15%, letting her hubby back into the room and confusingly remarking "I hate the amnesia trope. Did they really use the amnesia trope? And why are the two characters making out after ten seconds?"

To the girl's displeasure, they were indeed using the amnesia trope, along with the "I only have eyes for you" trope. The girl supposed that some people may, indeed make out after ten seconds, but those really weren't the kinds of relationships this girl wanted to see, nor the ones found out of erotica books.

But the girl had hope! This is an angel book, after all. The girl has been working on writing her own angel book for what felt like a millenia. She loved anything and everything about angels.

"Oh. They're Nephilim. Again. That's fine, but do all the character's have to be assholes?"

Yes, indeed, little girl. All of the characters do have to be assholes in this book. Why! You're only thirty percent in! Wait until you meet everyone! Is there one likable character? Luckily, there is! Jason. Goldilocks. Too bad all his surprises were transparent.

"Wait. Is Gabe really that stupid?"

Absolutely! Why not go off without protection when people are trying to kill you? This girl wondered and wondered and thought of a myriad of reasons. Gabe thought of none.

"They're really going to do that to her?! She's supposed to be their sister! What the fuck is that going to do?"

Ah ah ah! This girl was forgetting that ALL characters are assholes, and not assholes with common sense or dignity? These are the lovely sadistic assholes that this girl was always warned about. That's surely only to make Rafa look more like a catch, the girl thinks.

"Wouldn't this be so much easier if Rafa told her something?"

Well, Rafa seemed to take a page right out the Winchester brother's book. It's called the "We Could Have Resolved This in Season Four But Prefer Lying and Showing How Hot Castiel Is."

In all fairness, the girl thought, Castiel was rather hot.

"Are we really going to show all these humans what Nephilim -I refuse to call them Rephaim- can do so easily?"

Why not? It's not possibly like the Nephilim go around telling people they are begotten from angels, right? That's wrong. They tell EVERYONE if there's the slightest provocation towards needing to mention it. Silly you! Falling for my tricks.

"I only like Gabe when she's fighting."

This girl was not going to be happy when she finds out it only happens twice. And she wasn't! She wasn't happy at all.

"I hate the characters so fucking much."

Silly girl, we all do. We all do.

Two and a half stars because the writing was not bad. But I can't tell you how disappointed I was to find out this follows all of the tropes YA follows nowadays. Also, did no one notice that Rafa seemed to take a few pages from *shudders* Jace's books?

A disappointed girl without a BAMF angel book